Becoming Human

Elizabeth Mumford

Soon it would be feeding time for the small ones, the dawn was beginning to reawake, and the two men were talking quietly, so as not disturb the members nearby. 

A coronet of fireflies haloed his head. Robin was demonstrating how to apply a splint to a calf’s leg that had broken from slipping in the mud.

Hannah Mary watched as the stranger placed his hand on the top knot of a blue dwarf Tit, who had complained (apparently) of a headache. The small bird sat patiently and calmly in Robin’s open hand, with his other hovering just a small way from his crown. Moments later a song erupted from this littlest of souls.

“They wish to further their evolution you know - and this, remarkably, is the greatest pain of all.”

“But Robin, may I dissent? I have seen the fish skim, and dive and glide, with pure happiness beneath their scales - and I have not sensed any uneasiness with their lot.”

“I have seen the herds of grey cattle climb the hills to find the sweetest grass, and when the warm breeze kisses their fat heads, and they are content, I do not find this urgency of change that you speak of.”

“Likewise, this clicking beetle that has come upon us as bold as he does - I find him also to know his place in the world, and feel most safe here.”

Robin lowered his voice to speak with earnest delivery:

“The fish, the cow and the bug are not unhappy in these moments, my friend, I agree. But in times of danger and disease, of struggle with climate or famine, they sorely wish for change.”

“Into what?”

“Into becoming human.”

“How can this be so? And does not the mortal man also suffer the grievances of danger and hardship?”

“Yea, as do the gods - and yet as much as we may admire them for their beauty and we aspire to be as them as well, we are not concerning ourselves with their daily perils. And so it goes.”

“And so it goes.”

-Gabriel Brunsdon, Finding Self - Second Guesses- Azlander Series

Malt & Plum

Another memory flew past Eve and alighted on the bookcase in front of where she was sitting. It was of the far far past - and somehow, she realised it was connected to having Granoldi with her that she could see snippets so clearly of what was once her past life. 

In this vision Eve was watching another very intently who was sitting near the bear - her bear. She could not see his face, for a large hood was covering it from the side - droplets from the rain beaded and fell from its pinnacle. He was deep in conversation with Francis - someone who she recognised also, with great fondness.

He had chosen a place to sit nearby to where Granoldi was - yes, it was the bear - back in another time - a bear - another bear - yet it looked just like this white bear … in any event it began to rain, and when he sat down drips fell off from the rim of his large hood onto the compact ground beneath.

Francis brought him a tin cup that had a hot drink inside. The perpetual fire of the community was always lit and above it hung a large cauldron on the boil they called the ‘Bishop’s Caul’ - and from this massive iron pot the water stayed always hot, for beverages for the community and visitors alike.

“Malt and Plum? With a little spice.”

The stranger took it with a smile and a nod, and as he took it to his lips she managed to see his face in the light … it was an ageless face, and she recognised it at once.

She had been watching the two in the company of her twin brother, Murmur.

“No, he is not a Monk, but an Anglish Priest … and is renowned for his wisdom as well as his purse. The two spend hours and sometimes days comparing and sharing notes and ideas, but I think he is, somewhat the senior of the two.” Murmur said with gravitas referring to Francis and the Hode.

Both men were deep in communion with one another and this vexed Hannah Mary for she wished to be part of this conversation - privy to this depth of concentration, and not to be just a bystander.

She wanted an endeavour - a consultation, a meaningful dialogue. She yearned for an accomplice in thought.

Her mind could almost touch theirs telepathically. However it was not nearly as close as her twin brother, where nature itself had put them in unison since birth.

Even though she could not ‘hear’ the thoughts of Francis and the visiting Master, she could divine their solemnity and peace throughout.

-Gabriel Brunsdon, Finding Self - Second Guesses- Azlander Series

Perched Like Little Birds

Eve found herself constantly thinking about Granoldi. He was almost twice her size, and she knew she should be frightened, but she was not. He seemed familiar - and, after-all, he was just sleeping. 

And she herself couldn’t sleep. She felt drawn to keep checking the big bear in the room right beside hers. At first she would go into his room to make sure that he hadn’t woken, and watch this huge rounded form, lying in the bed gently breathing, so quietly and slowly it was almost imperceptible … 

She wondered what it was that brought her such happiness looking at this creature. Of course most people instantly love animals of all kinds - to this there is no doubt - they want to pat and hug and cuddle and show great signs of affection to creatures they have only just met - this is not new. Perhaps this was the explanation? It was only natural. 

In this instance he was imposingly large to say the least, and he was not an ordinary creature at all. And she, she was no ordinary creature either: her spiritual nature had developed in ways that mortals never usually experience, for in her previous life Eve also had been gifted in clairvoyant ways.

She could understand life with a mind that could encompass two worlds rolled into one. And during this last life she had loved this very same bear - and today it had become obvious to her in this very distant recollection, there was something strong between them.

On the first day of his arrival Eve had placed a vase of flowers from the garden to put on his bedside table. On the second day she had noticed that the flowers had begun growing and there was a bigger bunch there than before.

Small birds would come to his window sill and sit sometimes for ten minutes or more, as though they were watching over him, or just wanting to be close by.

Still the great bear slept on.

Another memory swept across her so quickly before she could even glimpse it.

It fluttered by so fast she had to look back to be able to see it: for that is the way with memories - they perch upon your shoulders like little birds, and sit so very quietly that you can barely sense that they are there.

A memory visits you not once but twice, and then, just as it goes to leave, you may but briefly catch sight of it.

-Gabriel Brunsdon, Finding Self - Second Guesses- Azlander Series

"Modern" was Meant to Be

Oskar Herrfurth

There once was a Master of Language named Nefarious. He was quite the philosopher in 12 AD: a Gnome that could command a vocabulary spanning five continents. He could talk also with the deceased in spirit-speak; even echo the voices of heaven and more, much more than this, spin an idea as though it was the finest golden or silver thread, which would wind its way around the world, until it had worked its yarn into every thought the men in that time were given to.

Nefarious was an originator of contemporary works; he knew how to break paradigms skilfully with the appeal of a better broader thought, he could take a principle and bend it like no other, and when the sun shone, it illumined yet further his fantastical new array of principles and dictums.

Nefarious was the all-time king of comedy for he understood the benefits of jocular enlightenment; when a man was struck by a surprise, he could split the conflicting feelings of awe and former knowledge with a sense of humour, a para-sense of humour, that could take someone beyond their ordinary grasp, and teach them to think differently - unlike the philosophy of religion that is so determined to beat the soul into its position.

He was rarely wrong, but on those occasions where he misjudged the acumen, it was nothing short of a disaster for Humanity - for example: on one occasion Nefarious was reworking a concept of ‘modern’ - however it did not appear as he had intended originally … In point of fact Nefarious had lost the thread of his own thought momentarily, when interrupted by a junior dwarf who had brought his beverage ten minutes too early … and this interruption was to cost civilisation for centuries its own undoing - for you see, an element was left out of the concept that made it complete.

The word modern, the paradigm as it were, was never intended to be a replacement for that which was formerly held in high advantage and honoured with timely worth.

Modern was meant to be: ‘that which is engineered in evolvement’ - not ‘contrary to’ - a fine distinction and separation - and yet when we look today you will find everywhere that modernity on its own implies ‘better’, merely by its point of difference in historical sequence.

This was just one of many things the Master got wrong, amongst the many he had tooled right. 

-Gabriel Brunsdon, Finding Self - Second Guesses- Azlander Series

A Simple Bond of Friendship

Mariusz Lewandowski

In the middle of the lake was a flame: the water was as still as glass, with the light skimming upon the reflection; at its side dipped branches from the holy tree, and standing at its stone walled edge was Jupiter.

“Going back already?” asked a voice from behind.

A golden pinecone came hurling past him and into the water breaking up its cosmic plate.

“Robin, what has brought you all the way here?”

“Concern Brother, concern. For I see you in the World as vulnerable and tossed around. It cannot be good for the high Heavens, nor for the son of a god, to do as you do.”

He continued: “Are you not asleep there most of the time anyway?”

Jupiter looked truly stung by these questions, and the blatant accusation he had been wasting time.

“No god ever wastes time”, he replied in a lordly, unfamiliar tone - almost cold.

“Don’t be like that” Robin said admonishing him yet further. “I say this because of our fondness for one another, and I have seen how the world corrupts so much and so many, and I cannot stand to think of you interred as you have been, and physically harmed, as you are. It is time for you to give this up methinks,” he persisted.

“First, it was you, and then my mother left, and to wit, I know precisely where she has gone and my heart is glad for her. And it will come the day, when then I will join her. However, I cannot sit in this in-between land ad infinitum - Paradise is purgatory without love.

“Surely you must understand - of all the gods - that the Earthly Sphere is a wild and interesting place: it is a realm where one feels alive no matter what form one takes. I am still greatly amused there and cannot give up what I have known of it, and I agree - I agree that it has all gone wrong from the beginning … I do not know what happened to the form - something changed on that particular leap I made, and it ended up as it did - but let me tell you, I do not regret any of it.

“A simple bond or friendship … it is a joy to me … and Robin, you must know this well. I see you - you have such familiar relationships also with the mortals and I know you crave it too.”

Robin of course acknowledged that this was all correct; he did not mean to chastise Jupiter, yet he felt responsible for him and would continue to care for him anon.

“Very well then my dear Granoldi, I shall see you again in the Fall.” 

-Gabriel Brunsdon, Finding Self - Second Guesses- Azlander Series

Rice Cakes & Happenstance

“I didn’t know you had it in you”, laughed Tu, who was always up for a good joke. He stroked his beard and watched the Brothers hurry in to help the newcomers up, taking the switch brush to their shoulders to knock off the dust, they were surprisingly quiet.

“Had to be done”, said Goober with an old world superiority that Tu had not seen before. He had to admit to himself he had taken the old boy a bit for granted up until now - thought him to be downright meek - but here he was showing some grit. Nothing like tele-transporting fourteen people back in time to make your point.

-Gabriel Brunsdon, Finding Self - Second Guesses- Azlander Series

Petit Fours & Metaphors

Tu drew his cloak tightly around him, somewhat uneasily … the raw silk looked a little frayed compared to the newbies sitting at the table. There was a mixture of tourists, of blow-ins, city folk, who clearly loved the vegetarian cuisine; and then there were the people who inhabited the monastery of today, who gave talks and workshops on being superior in all things spiritual.

Tu was enjoying the variety of conversation; it didn’t bother him that they were wrong with most of the thoughts in their discussion - there was a party atmosphere, and it felt enlivening to be part of it, whatever they were saying.

Goober however, had a different approach, for he was forever frustrated with the limited thinking of the ‘spiritual’ people he had encountered thus far. And, at the same time, many generations later, he was appalled at what had become of the monastery - it was little more than an indulgent B & B.

“It's all in the mind you see.”

“No it’s not” said Goober, shaking his head - disturbed at what was being propositioned.

“No, I think you will find it is” … “you’re probably used to the old school approach, but here, at the progressive Retreat, we practise a scientific, more expansive criteria and philosophy … of course, there is no such thing as Dogma, yet we would like to reiterate that the spirit and the spiritual worlds are marvellous metaphors for the interior of a man and his thinking - but that is all they are - we make our own reality - each to his own etc.”

Goober thought about this for all of one minute and then asked: “Are you telling me that other realms don’t exist?”

“Oh no no no, they exist … but in the mind only” the novice explained pointing to his head, as if to make it clear. He had lowered his voice on the word ‘only’ to emphasis the mystery of it being revealed.

“Well, then - they don’t exist?” stammered Goober.

Here Master Tu interjected, “I think what the young monk saying is that we all have different philosophies, and we all see the world differently, and this is what makes this world fundamentally what it is.”

“Nup” said Goober, emphasising the ‘nup’ shaking his head, “it’s not that I don’t see it that way, I’ve just seen and been to other places … and well, they do exist, outside my purview … fact is they were there before me, and will go on without me - so it can’t just be my doing, there are countless realities independent of my imaginings.”

With saying that he snapped his fingers and transported the whole table back to the Monastery of Faerie they originally came from. The food instantly disappeared also, as so did the chairs, and the group of fourteen found themselves upon the mud floor, sore from the fall, and completely perplexed as to what had just happened.

-Gabriel Brunsdon, Finding Self - Second Guesses- Azlander Series